riSe aNd sHIne

Recession has left me with least chores at workplace... this shouldn't have sounded as big a catastrophe... only if we are not presumed to "look busy" (do nothing) relentlessly each working day… All thanks to the Almighty, to habituate a bladder among other organs in an intricate congested human anatomy…. which can conveniently be tuned (any number of times) to relieve a drizzle just by gulping down couple of glasses of water.

Rest room serves to be the only venue, which gives u respite from chronic monotony of "NO WORK"…. So one can alternately consume water and later drain it.… all day long.

Moreover, I can tittle-tattle,  roar with laughter,  admire myself in the mirror (if nobody looks at me… at least I can look my self),… check if my lip-gloss is still glaring and tresses well in place.

By virtue of high gender ratio in corporation… women washroom is never a chockfull place.

Of course cafeteria is also a cool option… but I categorize it as "touch n go" zone... for if u stay little longer, there are bright prospects you'll be embroiled in catch-22 with your manager... who will tear you apart with just one glance... and you, no matter how tedious it is, have to smile back candidly.

Isn't it a wacky analogy between office and school?... when we were young... how in every lesson, we use to ask teacher to go to loo or drench our mouth. Lavatory since then is my favorite den... nevertheless, the most invulnerable territory to exchange valuable ideas (esp. during tests).

However there use to be one more hot spot… for where we didn't even need any approval… and that was the corner of classroom accommodating dustbin... all one has to do is to send wireless gesticulation to your friend at remote seat to join round-the-dustbin conference with you. It doesn’t matter if your propelling pencil doesn't need any sharpening… u can still break the lead and go there to hone it till u get world's finest .0005mm pointed tip... and meanwhile trade some gags and secret sensitive messages.

Unfortunately housekeeping department in companies hasn't yet acknowledged "one trash-box per floor" concept as matter of considerable gravity... Wretched people just for the sake of better hygiene furnish one per desk... hence compromising mobility and moments of delight for chair-ridden employees.

Here are some of the clues u can dig… while u have trivial (or NO) endeavors and still u want to look engrossed without being glued to your bench.

Visiting canteen too often can only make u seem "vella"... this equally applies if u participate actively in every cultural event.

So below are few boondoggles, which besides improving your metabolism will also keep you buzzing like busy bee!!

• Getup to guzzle down H20 every half an hour or if your taste buds got fed up with same plain colorless (flavorless) liquid u can fetch a cup of coffee... (Hidden Agenda: Its medically proven... drinking more water improves skin).

• Chase your nature call to rinse out fluid u took sometime ago... (Warning: Don’t wait to test elastic strength of your bladder).

• Go over to dispatch section to ask if u have any pending courier.... (Sentiment: Your self-service will ease burden of low paid staff).

• You may not need but its praiseworthy if you keep taking print outs… so roll in to grab the hard outputs of your soft inputs.... (Game plan: Your organization might be monitoring and would be pleased to discover employees doing lot of offline reading).

• Reach out to housekeeping and get your mitts on some stationary, which is buried there since ages and before rats transmogrify them into heap of unidentifiable scrap, u better do justice with lifeless chunks.

• Use the above raw material to ornament your desk. (Motivation: Aesthetic backdrop will magnify your glamour).

• Instead of emailing somebody… approach him personally to discuss whatever.... (Gimmick: This will promote your popularity among peers). 

• If you feast upon anything at your table, fly to rest room to rinse your palms (doesn’t matter if you had just a toffee straight from rapper, and your fins are speckless)..... (Reminder: Exercise swine flu caution rules).

• Loose no time to collect any courtesy-gifts/ food coupons or if u need to drop any bill or cheque or courier..... (Conviction: You will thereby avoid embarrassment to office admin by not under-utilizing company's amenities at your disposal).

• Occasionally u can pay tribute to scanner and Photostat m/c, safeguarding such valuable assets from corrosion.

• Incase u r Abhishek Bachchan's fan... you can walk & talk .. walk & talk.. walk and talk (yess exactly thrice).

• At times, you can spruce up your cabinet by doing away old junk. Gathering all the rubbish will give cleaning staff a leg up against vacuum cleaners (yeah... its about human Vs machine combat).

• You can entertain loan, insurance, & banking agents during working hours. These are the most humble folks in the world… and our planet would only go downhill, if we don’t appreciate their generosity.

• Get your hands on some novels or other publications from library (not to torment yourself, but to further accessorize your chamber).

• Don’t forget to replenish the (above mentioned) stock sporadically. Substituting the old with fresh stuff can conveniently be done in two rounds.... (Stimulant: Ambience restoration can often rejuvenate your spirit).

• Place a call to a/c technician to acclimatize the temperature to suit your comfort (depends whether you are missing winters or summers).

 

• If you still left with ample time, you better practice dozing inside comfort station… (don’t be anxious, nobody will come hunting you.... Out of sight is out of mind :P)

We (aRe) liKe yOu!

Everybody around me is getting spliced...  some just had it done... others planning to walk down the aisle soon... and very few still in quest for their soul mates.

No matter what...  I will always have the honor of being the "first one to tie knots" and that is uniform across my different groups of friends.

As time passes by... (being senior most ) its delightful to see each of my friends getting hitched... and its equally fun to see how they choose their life partner.

Here is my gender-based analysis about how each one of us makes this eternal choice before we plug into in nuptial bliss.

What WE girls seek in you guys?

• One who can love us endlessly.
• Who doesn’t smoke or drink.
• Should be earning well.
• Your family can accept us gracefully.
• Should be loyal, decent and honest.

Now men when they think of marriage...  they categorize their preference based on working and non-working woman.

Though most of matrimonial ads say "looking for beautiful, fair, tall, professionally qualified homely/working girl" but such circulars are usually posted by the family... so let’s dig into mind of the guy.

What (YOU) guys look for in a young lady (Employed)?

• She should be very very beautiful... if not in whole of universe... at least be able to fetch stares and "wow" sighs from all relatives and peers.

• Her father should have enough life-savings to make your life perfect paradise after wedding.

• Her family should realize they are actually fortunate to find in you such a good match... and should revere you like god, dedicating sacred bhog (in form of mauney) as a token of courtesy, (regularly) all their life.

• Damsel shouldn’t be egoistic or individualistic.

• Should be soft spoken and graceful.

• Should be able to cook at least 3 meals each day of her wedded life.

• Should have deep interest in household work.

• Should regard children as divine grace and should enthusiastically produce & raise at least two off springs to fulfill the Ideal Happy family (tree) dream.

• Should respect and be caring and self-less towards your (extended) family.

• She should frequently wear sari and suits (only then she can exemplify true Indian beauty).

•  She shouldn’t have past relationships.

• Shouldn't work late in office and be at home before you step in.

• Should be ready to quit job if anytime family-utopia gets adversely affected.

• Shouldn’t have male friends as close buddies.

• Should be able to find new best friends among wives of your gang.

• Shouldn’t prefer going alone in office parties.

• You will appreciate if she calls you everyday to ask if you had your lunch and how soon you will be coming back home.

• She shouldn't drink (even occasionally) or smoke.

• She should be religious & traditional.

• She shouldn’t be too liberal in her ways.

• She should agree (yes boss) with you on almost (anything important) everything.

What (you) guys look for in young lass (non-working)?

• She should be very very beautiful... if not in whole of universe... at least be able to fetch stares and "wow" sighs from all relatives and peers.

• Her father MUST have huge reserves to make your life perfect paradise after wedding.

• Her family should realize they are actually fortunate to find in you such a good match... and should revere you like god, dedicating sacred bhog (in form of mauney) as a token of courtesy, (regularly) all their life.

• Should be able to cook at least 5 meals each day of her wedded life effortlessly.

• Should be an artist when it comes to household work and spend her time creatively at home.

• She should regard children as divine grace and should enthusiastically produce & raise at least two off springs to fulfill the Ideal Happy family (tree) dream.

• Should respect and be caring and self-less towards your family.

• She shouldn't shy away from western outfits (that would prove her all rounder).

• Should be able to find new gossip friends among wives of your gang.

• She shouldn't bad-mouth about anybody in family to you.

• She should be well qualified (professional qualification is even better).

• She should be smart enough to give tough competition to any professional women in office parties or elsewhere.

• She should not make any mistakes while driving the car (nevertheless she doesn’t own a personal vehicle).

• She shouldn't be spendthrift and should value your hard earned money.

• She shouldn't pester you with her calls while you are in office.

• Its critical that both of you bear compatible opinions like kitty parties and beauty parlors are worthless, its absolutely fine if you at times get late partying with your friends, unless an obsession drinking and smoking isn't bad for health, etc.

• She should be an Internet expert and aware of latest happenings.

• She shouldn't watch Ekta Kapoor's TV soaps.

• Should be able to enjoy test cricket and sci-fi movies.

• She should be adventurous and outgoing.

• She should not be over-religious or ritualistic.

• She should maintain good figure and follow newest trends.

• She shouldn't pamper children by spoon feeding.

• You won’t mind if she shows interest in learning new things like interior decoration or similar courses but only once children have grown up.

• She shouldn’t crib to go for outing or holidays.

• She shouldn’t know how to use credit/debit cards.

Gentlemen we admit we are no goddesses… for you are no gods either. I know it tough for you guys to do away all your expectations… but its high time you admit we are not born for u, live for u or can die for u… We love you so much… but how can we be any less self-centered… greedy or ambitious than you. We all built-up same way :D

We can’t be super woman like your mothers but we are powerful enough to be able to live life our way.

Let us together transform marriage from being institution of suppression and compromise to institution of love, independence and choice. Please... please agree with me this time.

DUS ka tees.. dus ka TEES

"After school to cinema" (All sin tan cos)... Once this use to be my powerful tantra to keep an important Quadrant mantra locked-up in my mind.

Movies.. films!! Such was the place celluloid had in my life.. that one may skip anything but not this.

Now after time has traveled so many years, I don’t need this trigonometry formula anymore...

“School” got substituted by college and then college got replaced to office... only thing which is still holds good in this four-word cliche is CINEMA...

Yes.. I am movie-lover, not the first day first show types but surely a religious follower.

Some time back I happened to watch a film in "Urvashi"... an old traditional-style single-screen talkies, still afloat in the heart of Bangalore city.. and believe me it was such a rejuvenating experience.

Rejuvenating?? Yes you read it rite..

Since past few years, it so happened that I have watched flicks only in multiplexes... the transition I hardly ever minded. It wasn't intentional... but you no more see conventional cinema halls these days... moreover multiplexes enable online bookings, home delivery of tickets and loyalty or cash-back offers. You easily fall for them.

So after long, when I happened to be at this place, I just loved it..

Enfeebled memories got revived...

What a delight it use to be movie watching before we got tuned to "multiplexed" philosophy.

Planning for movie (as if one does for live concert), rushing to the hall well in advance, pandemonium that sets off when the booking counter opens, waiting in queue for the tickets...

Though one has to be prepared to face other part of this thrill.... Walls stained with betel-juice, reeking staircases, jam-packed auditoriums, creaking seats in balcony and even more creaking ones in stalls, air-conditioners functioning well to keep you sweating warm, crackling sound effects of Dolby technology, decayed interiors..

I know I know this "other" part wasn't amusing at all... Multiplexes ensure far superior movie viewing in most of the aspects... but having said that I still miss the charm of primitive silver screens..

Large painted film hoardings (not just outside the theatres but across the city), huge auditoriums with seating capacity ranging from 300 to 1,000... charged up crowd clapping and whistling over every dialogue... what an uproar over the entry of our heartthrob hero and heroine in the film... every damn stunt would further electrify the ambience.

Recurring screams and commentary over even insignificant scenes make very bit of movie appealing... at times aid u to catch on an unintentional comedy or subtle intensity of the moment.

I can so well recall.... when I went to see "THE mummy"... and just when horrifying mummy emerged on the screen... somebody from behind remarked "Baap re baap mummy aisi hai toh papa kaise honge"... what a comic timing... I was almost rolling over the floor laughing.

Also earlier, picture halls use to show snapshots of forthcoming films during intermission and before the start of the film... this concept seems to be missing nowadays... Ya we see enough of them on television... but those trailers are mostly abbreviated versions.

And during recess... coke, chips, pop-corns use to come self walking, nicely displayed on the tray... you don't have to be in long queue (and still pay triple for the same stuff)... meanwhile missing some part of the show.

In comparison, multiplex culture is about ultra civilized janta, carrying high sense of decorum & loads of fashionable attitude.... While maintaining their status they appear so murky.. lifeless.

They are there ONLY to watch the movie. That is it... Not to gab about whatever the hell.... They backpack all their feedback and issues to coffee house or lounge... So at the best, few suppressed whispers or a muffled giggles is what keep you reminding... nothing to fear... you are not alone!!... If not interval cast away the darkness of auditorium, you may not realize whether the show is houseful!!

Upgraded acoustics, Dolby X Processors, 3D effects and elector-voice processors for the speakers, bigger seats and more leg space, and many other facilities and gloss... succeeds in making whole experience really comfortable... but fail to match the jollity & liveliness of old times.

Painful to say.. which is worse?... dismal infrastructure or varnished enthusiasm of the people!

In the words of Javed Akhtar, “Cinema wo hai jiska ticket black mein bikta hai”.... But black ticketing is rare these days... Single screen playhouses split-up into smaller multi-screen halls... hence no jumping over one another... one conveniently get the tickets.

You don't seem to be convinced I guess... Why don’t u guys check this out for yourself.. trust me.. you wont be disappointed.

For who knows if I continue more.. nostalgic me might start discussing out-dated audio cassettes and floppy disks.. good! am signing off.

wEb blues!

No marks for guessing how I kick start my day.... Reading and replying mails (first gmail, office thunderbird at last), online news, updating & reading Facebook status, tweets or other posts.

What brings me in good spirit..... Facebook or Orkut friend requests.. testimonial.. feedbacks on my blogs.. add on to my follower & fan list, getting tagged.. (I know all the exhilaration is absolutely unnecessary but still it makes me blush.... now don't gape at my profile picture).

What pisses me off.... When I can see lot of contacts are online but none responds when I ping them (what can be more agonizing.. people see me as weird ?? or Do I need to join torture management classes?)... when someone declines my friend request (incredibly blasting my self esteem)... When result of online IQ quiz is "Have you ever been to school?" or when mail indicator pops up with subject "Bug ###### got assigned to you"... But I still keep myself hang on there.. things can only get better :)

And when everything else become weary.... I take a dekho at web albums (at times zooming in) or peep into profiles of friends, friends of friends (scrapbooks also :D)... chatting with multiple people simultaneously, striking the keyboard at speed (sorry force) of 50 Newton without even caring what I type... watching youtube videos (very very educational ones :P)..listen to online music (French, Spanish,.. point is nothing should disturb my brain penetrating through ear-holes) on my kingfisher headphones...
Ummm..usually ONLY freshers use them.. everyone fly kingfisher when they join Oracle (no they don't become rich..company reimburses it). But I (after more than 1.5 yrs) still give them worth.. (you know how I am.. love to play modest).

Hey but hold on.. am I sounding like internet addict to you... excuse me.. I think u need to catch up.. I agree this is primarily because I work in IT sector but don't forget this is WEB age we are in.

Somebody has given the right Mantra “If you’re not on MySpace, you don’t exist”.

Where as Elmes-Crahall believes "Every hour spent on social networks is one less hour spent learning how to effectively communicate face-to-face." (:O Is it so ??) I don't agree with this.

So what if I spend around 12 hours (that is almost 95% of my time) everyday in virtual digital world. This online world is just a reproduction of my real offline world.. it is mesmerizing. It has automate my day dreaming. I can reach out to anything I can name it and which otherwise I would have never been able to.

I also learn valuable social skills by instantly messaging (even people whom I haven't met in last 15 years). And the best part is only words get across the network.. not the expressions (so I can be paranormal throughout and still make u feel pleasant).

It prevents social dehydration.. frequent but supposedly meaningless interactions ("whats up?", "hows life?", etc) reassures my friends that yess I care..

It curbs my over-eating habits unlike TV, also keep a corner of my room enlightened even when power goes off.

And doesn't this new social order trivially sponsors democracy across the world... exceptions being China, Syria, Iran where Facebook, twitter, Blogging and the like are banned (China should forget competing with India).

I should also confess that both my bachelors & masters degree and fact that I am still employed.. credit goes to one and only one savior on this earth "Google"!

Though there are certain side effects also..

Like my online buddies are many.. but only few offline companions (my lappy, mobile, TV, my scooter..... no I didn't miss anything.. I don't have Ipod).

Cyber world is PUBLIC by default.. private only when necessary (I go private only to humiliate my friends).

Context switching between regular-space and cyber-space can take you back to square one.

One feels frustrated & sore headed when one can't connect to internet.

Another big disadvantage which you guys bear the burden of.. is my BlOGs! (am not apologetic about it)

Drawbacks may exceed.. but we love this change!! And We can't backtrack.

So whatever be the pros and cons.. let us all, being responsible digital natives or immigrants should pledge to keep things in moderation. I think this can only be the key. Go ahead.. let your mind wander over tangible and virtual cosmos equally.

18 TiLL I dIE

In adulthood, you try to remember all the stupid stuff you did as a kid.

But this is not the case with me, for I am still horribly immature & naive. There is nothing I can recollect I improved upon past 15 years as a sign of maturing up.. And I wonder if it is the deficiency of growth hormones or cells in my cerebrum refuse to multiply.. Or is it that I am immune to mind control?
I am not proving myself to be dumb here.. its just that I dont find myself anytime more pensive.. cautious.. or rational then I ever was..

Or may be I am just too lucky.. and its actually a blessing to be able to live your life this way! carefree..improvident.
Naah ..I would be too optimistic to believe this!

According to Albert Camus (great philosopher), “After a certain age, every man is responsible for his own face.” This is may be true..but I dont find it inspiring.

I remember when I was at home, couple of times.. some salesperson had appeared and said "Child, please call your parents or somebody older from house"... what the hell on earth they think I am...??

And I hate it..hate it.. when I meet an old acquaintance only to hear "Oh Shweta..You haven't changed a bit". No No No.. they dont anyway mean that I have younger looking skin.. what they imply is how can I still blabber senselessly .. with gestures so deprived of any refinement and countenance lacking miserably of any intelligent-solemn expressions.

Well I dont blame them.. I cant.. for I am in many ways still the same person I use to be ever since my brain tissues formed... and here are the arguments why I dint knife any of them (not my tissues...those maddening people).

1. As a child, my very first ambition was to become a rickshaw-wala.. I use to find rickshaw pulling so amusing.. one gets to ride the tricycle whole day..without even caring to balance it as compare to my silly bicycle.

I dont aspire to be rickshaw puller anymore, but still fancy idea of riding rickshaw one day.

2. My passport till date is unstamped.

3. I whistle while getting ready in the morning & jump down the stairs instead of climbing down.

4. I still eat food with my eyes firmly stuck on TV screen and never on my plate.

5. I repel any responsibility.. any damn discipline & loves to be pampered.

6. My hearty laugh can easily remind you of an old hindi film shantaan.

7. I almost always feels grass is greener on the other side of the fence.. for example, all those who born in United kingdom are living life king size.., software jobs are worst.. staying single is best.., to be working is curse... list is endless.

8. I am still under the impression that given the opportunity (say US presidency) I can change the world.

9. When I cry I make sure somebody can hear it.

10. I still love to decorate my book shelf with good number of colorful books.. nevertheless they are awaiting to be read.

11. For any anxious moments.. my nails pay the price (I mean my fingernails :D).

12. I cant fast.. but can eat after every 2 hours.

13. Couldn't develop taste for wine or a champagne (lost the count of attempts I made).. You can catch me sipping strawberry shakes or orange juice in parties.

14. Miserably crave for anything sugared.. anytime of the day.

15. Everytime I plump myself on couch.. my legs rest on the table.

16. My wardrobe is still anticipating to shelter an elegant evening gown.

17. I gorge myself on parle glucose biscuits and maggie is my fav dish.

18. Most of times I wear socks despite whatever.

19. I am contact-lens handicap.. so lookout the world through my awful thick glasses.

20. When I was in class 7.. I fell in love with Tom Cruise.. crush never got over.

21. My mobile always goes missing.. people have stopped calling me.

22. Couldn't even get over my phobia for lizards..

23. After front page of TOI, its the entertainment section which I focus on.

24. I still prefer my scooter to my car.

25. I hate going for morning walk.. as a matter of fact I can't get up early.

26. I dont want to be a parent.. becoz once you are.. you miss all the FUN.

27. While watching an interesting movie I end up overeating.

28. Haven't bugged my mind in share market even once.

29. Using same wallet since class 10.

30. I dont pray (there are no exams in my job).

31. My budget equals the money in my notecase.

32. Even now, I visualize Arun Govil & Deepika Chikhalia as Lord Ram & Goddess Sita.

33. Its delightful to get a feel of a smoker in winters .

34. When asked what all I can cook.. tea & coffee tops the list.

35. I test my darting skills with dustbin and garbage.

36. I forward my guest the whole bottle when serving water (This is when I could remember I should ask them for something).

37. I believe world would be over when I will not exist.

38. I still take around 4 seconds to find out which is my left and which is my right side.

39. kicking small rocks on road while walking....yess it thrills me.

40. Feel like scraping off the icicles that form inside the walls of an ancient freezer at my grandma's house.

41. In summers crunching the ice cubes (with sound effects) gives me a high!

42. Synchronizing my steps with someone moving ahead or close to me is so amusing.


It doesn't really make a difference how much I push myself in and out.. this part of me doesn't seems to die out.. Its useless to fake or simulate sophistication.. it has to come innately.. from within!

I can't afford to loose my interest.. my spirit either, to inherit worldliness. Or do life give me bonus if I practice seriousness?

I am fed up.. I have booked tickets of "Wake up Sid".. may be where teachers & family failed, bollywood would make a mark (I heard u asking "where ?"... In My MinD).

HoT dAwgs!

When I was a kid (are u asking my age? bad manners).. I always wanted to keep dog as pet.. but my mother never approved.. for she could never stand any animal leaving mess anywhere in her territory.. I being submissive child (no no not anymore) always obliged.

But recently (since few years) my liking for canines has suddenly revived, so much so that even a dirtiest of street dog appears to me cuter than Shahid Kapoor.
I feel like cuddling & hugging every dog I see anywhere.. no I am not talking about any breed of men. These (unlike most men) are faithful & very affectionate living beings.

Even my zodiac sign (as per Chinese horoscope) is "Dog" (may be that's where lies the deep roots of my penchant).

Or if I can remember well, what suddenly brought back my passion was when I watched MIB followed by vodafone advertisements... that sweet little "pug" has somewhere stroked old chords of my heart.. every time the advertisement appears on the TV screen I start doing "oh baby...cho chweet..muaah muaah muaah..", leaving Shilendra (my husband) feel miserable & frowning by my side.
To make the matter worse, there is a huge poster of pug at the entrance of my office (as vodafone's office is on the ground floor of our building). And everyday as I pass by to the staircase, I have to control my sentiments hard to be able to keep pride & grace of IT professional in place.

But I think what you avoid the most, follows you most.. for there's a Mr somebody (another animal lover) who sits adjacent to me... and has devoted his desktop's wallpaper & screen saver to pug... while most of the time he remains away, this angelic creature appears before me in full action.. his expressive eyes, gorgeous curly tail.. adorable wrinkled face (oh I just cant wait to get him).

Why life is full of tragedies.. I cant even pet him.. who will look after him while I am in office :(

"Cant we hire a full-time maid to look after my baby toy", was my question to Shilendra. "Not until u had married some rich prince of royal family", he muttered..(is that called garbage in garbage out?). Why they dont have crèche for pets too :P

Having developed fancy for these non-human species, I really sometimes feel pity for street dogs.. with no food & shelter.. they are abused, beaten.. mercilessly killed. MCD should either put them all in dog hounds (with proper facilities) or vaccinate them.. Just because they are not as civilized as humans, they shouldn't be left to face all sorts of maltreatment (what u guys think.. I cant talk serious).

There are 5-6 stray dogs in my lane.. once or twice I fed them.. and now they follow me long distance whenever I come or leave my apartment (make me feel like some VIP being escorted). And every time somebody unknown enters our street..they start barking. So they also kind of keep robbers, burglars away (they actually outperform the security guard of our building).

I truly believe given a chance these street dogs can make our country proud by joining Indian military (of course after being trained). They have lived life harder way and therefore are much more alert & deserving to be part of our army. They can smell drugs, bombs & recently I heard can help in diagnosing diseases too.

In fact dogs could have helped us to diagnose H1N1 virus in people.

Had Bush relied more on dogs, he would have dug Osama Bin Laden out by now!

Also only solution to India's problem of infiltration is keeping dogs as guard across LOC (with no offense to our Indian Army).

"Slum dog millionaire became hit by just using term "dog" in the title.

And see how Maneka Gandhi manage to remain in news.. yess just by loving dogs!

Finally Aamir khan was able to insult SRK by simply naming his dog as 'Sharukh'. Isn't it awesome?

Moreover, which rare breed of dog u have.. and how much your dog is pampered with designer clothes & accessories can actually define your class in the society.

And who can deny contribution of dogs in so many movies & fashion shows..

So, please guys start treating these poor earthlings with care & respect, just as we deal with kids, old people and physically (or mentally) challenged souls.

Oh I am so over-whelmed.. I will start crying (subak-subak) if I will write more.

Feeling HuMble

Come Saturday.. & I have nothing to write... not that some sword is hanging over me.. but ever since I remember, I was never a disciplinarian with anything in my life.. so thought I should at least be regular with this one thing..

Ya ya I know.. nobody is waiting.. 15 days since I started blogging.. and not a single follower.. Its actually big enough shame for anyone to commit suicide.. hey waitt.. dont call ambulance.. am not dying.

Had I been some celebrity.. like Britney Spears or Brad Pitt.. my blogs would have been instant hit.. and u would be following my every sneeze & sigh.

Or may be I should have better used this space sharing some interesting secrets of well honored great souls around us.. like Rahul Gandhi was actually a drunkard & was refused admission to some of Delhi's top institutions because of his mental handicap.

But wait... my blogs will be only about me (keep cursing me !) and I bet, even I deserve a big name (r u laughing aloud?)... I can prove it rite here!.

So let me acquaint you of my reasons why I think I am... (dont want to praise myself... however u guys can do that.. down there under comments).

So Wot follows are the similarities that I share with prominent personalities of our times.


Mother Teresa : We both love wearing white.

Priyanka Gandhi : None of us want to enter into active politics.

MJ : Together we would look as two lovely ladies (and scene would be as some zebra crossing).

Himesh Reshmaiya: We both love to sing but nobody listens.

Manmohan singh: Even I have long lustrous hair.

Yukta Mookhy: Directors dont cast us because of our height.

Abhishek Bachchan: We both use hair-band.

Larry Ellison: Both of us work for oracle.

Aamir Khan : I swear I watch tata sky at home.

Jade Goody (believe me.. even she is a celebrity): I too dont hav any fans.

Michelle Obama: I dont feel very proud of US either.

Mayawati: My handbag & dreadful sandals can drive u mad.

Rahul Gandhi: Both of us need much of a grooming.

Osama Bin laden: I enjoyed playing hide & seek. Hes playin till date.

Sarah Palin: As anti-intellectual as I am.

Rakhi Sawant: My biggest asset (guess wot?) is "freedom of speech".

Roger Federer: Whenever I win (no matter what).. I cry a river.

Steve Bucknor: His glasses too cant help him 6/6 vision.

Oprah Winfrey: Known every damn secret on this earth except how to loose weight.

Narendra Modi: I also want US visa.

Aishwarya Rai: Many a times I too have giggling fits (esp when I dont know what to say).

Sania Mirza: I too always wanted to be doctor.

SRK: Do I make u laugh (dont shout!! I can hear u all saying "No"). Even SRK cant.

Suhel Seth: Dishevelled hair look cool. See me..see him (now you believe me).

Asif Ali Zardari: Nobody expects too much from me either.

Pramod Muthalik: I truly empathize with him for his tear-jerking passion for woman liberation.

Sachin Tendulkar: My sound organ works at same pitch as his.

Gordon Brown: I too sumtimes gorge myself with ready-to-eat meals late night.


I could have mentioned many more.. but I believe... if somebody need to convince that hard to prove his talent.. then whats the fun..

Hummm, amidst so much of flair... & limelight (for I m planning to appear in reality shows soon).. I still manage to live as modest being. I know you adore me for that.. dont lie I knw u do :).